Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
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1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
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2) The farm was used to produce produce.
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3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
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4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
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5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
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6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
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7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time
to
present the present.
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8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
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9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
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10) I did not object to the object.
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11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
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12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
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13) They were too close to the door to close it.
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14) The buck does funny things when
the does are present.
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15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
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16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
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17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
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18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
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19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
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20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
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21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
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English: interesting language.
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There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor
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pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or
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french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads,
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which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted.
But if we
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explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing
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rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a
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pig. And why is it that writers
write but fingers don't fing,
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grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
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If the plural of tooth is teeth,
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why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
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One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
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One index, 2 indices?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If
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you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
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what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and
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a wise guy are opposites?
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
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house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by
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filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
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People, not computers invented English, and it reflects the creativity
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of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why,
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when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out,
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they are invisible.
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P.S.
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Why doesn't "buick" rhyme with "quick"?
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