Avoid There is and There are and similar constructions.

A common source of wordiness is the construction it is, it was, there is, or there was at the beginning of a sentence. Compare the following examples:

There is a sense of agitation in the drawing.

The drawing conveys agitation.

The second example is more direct, more concise, and makes better use of the subject position of the sentence.

Be Direct. Avoid wordy noun constructions.

Noun constructions often use many words where one or two will do, as well as deprive your sentences of the force of the verbs. Use strong, active verbs rather than wordy noun constructions.

This essay makes a suggestion of the many influences on van Gogh.

This essay suggests the many influences on van Gogh.

Eliminate verbal detours and redundancies.

Avoid wordy phrases that obscure the meaning you are attempting to communicate. Filler phrases like those in the left column fatigue readers and distract them from your message. Develop a preference for concise words and phrases.

Avoid hedge words.

Avoid words and sentences that provide little information. Words such as good, very, interesting, pretty, fine, bad, well done, awfully, and thing are often so vague that readers are forced to create their own interpretations, a risky proposition at best.

Words like perhaps, maybe, and somewhat are qualifying words that may become hedge words when they are used as evasion. Opinion phrases such as it seems to me that . . ., it is my opinion that . . ., I think, I feel, or I believe qualify your statement, making it factual only for you. Most readers are especially bothered by the special hedge of feel being interchanged with believe: feel is an emotional response, whereas believe indicates an intellectual one.

 

This document was produced by Mary Pat McQueeney at JCCC January 20, 2000.